An open letter to dudes who think it’s manly to eat something that somebody else killed… (language NSFW)

Dear dudes,

What’s so manly about paying a few bucks to have a giant corporation torture and dismember peaceful herbivores? OK, OK… biased question. But you see what I’m getting at. How long are we going to let this myth go on that eating meat somehow makes you more of a man? I realize that you don’t really think about this much, but maybe you should? Frankly, when I see a man who so easily submits to his evolution-based cravings for fat and salt, I see a weakling. When I read about Americans getting fatter every year, while meat gets cheaper, I see a bunch of sheep. When I think about all of these frat-dudes drinking beer and eating Big-Macs, I think they must all be gutless followers of advertising campaigns.

What is manly about meat? Seriously. It’s 2011. None of you steak-eaters are out there stalking and hunting for your prize. And how hard would it be to kill a fat cow anyway?

Is it the idea of eating blood and flesh? I know that’s part of it. Something about chewing another animal’s muscle tissue gives carnists a boner. The idea of consuming another body to strengthen your own is an anachronism. Maybe it makes sense if you are an Inuit in the fucking Arctic Circle, but come on. You’re a lazy fuck who sits on the couch and watches football. Or maybe you’re a gym-rat who thinks his ridiculous biceps entitle him to a slab of factory-farmed pork chops. Point is, it just doesn’t make sense anymore. Prove me wrong.At this point, you might be getting a bit defensive and thinking: “So what? I don’t give a fuck what some scrawny vegan thinks. I might eat an extra burger tonight just to spite you.” And I’ve seen this before, too. This weird perception that eating meat is somehow rebellious. Who are you rebelling against? Scrawny vegans? Does that make you feel like your dick is bigger? When you eat meat, you give in to The Man. You become a pawn of the corporate powers that spent decades and millions of dollars convincing you that beef is what a man should eat. Get it? You are not a rebel; you are the opposite! You are doing the same thing as everybody else! You are a conformist, a child who is still afraid of being different. A cowardly little wussy (I don’t use the p-word).

Sincerely,

Me

*****

So… this blog got a little more emotional, and a little less neat, than I had planned. I guess the subject matter stirred something up inside me. I apologize if it seemed a like a bit much, language and hyperbole-wise. It must be all that red meat I’ve been eating… oh wait…

But anyway. Maybe it’s time to give up this wholesale rejection of common sense? Eating animals is not in the best interest of anybody, except the kings of the status quo (Smithfield, Cargill, Tyson, McDonalds, Monsanto, etc…). It’s not good for you (unless maybe you are a starving orphan and it’s somehow your only choice). It’s super-wasteful, and really bad for the planet. It’s fucking cowardly. Just know: you have other options. Even if you still want those ridiculous biceps.